"Saddam's Hangover + 3 other equally insane skits"

VISIT THE DAILY COLUMNS

2007-07-15T02:19:00.000-07:00

http://thedailycolumns.wordpress.com

READ NEW MYSTERY READER'S REVIEW OF THE BOOK

2007-06-05T14:18:00.000-07:00

CLICK BELOW TO READ WHAT ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR BOOK REVIEW SITES NEW MYSTERY READER HAS GOT TO SAY ABOUT "SADDAM'S HANGOVER + 3 OTHER EQUALLY INSANE SKITS".

READ THE REVIEW:
http://www.newmysteryreader.com/small_press_reviews.htm#hangover

BUY IT NOW!

2007-03-31T00:34:00.000-07:00

Send your requests to get.aniche@gmail.com to get your copy of the book! Hurry up! BUY NOW!!! ONLY Rs. 70/-

FREE EXCERPT FROM "SADDAM'S HANGOVER"

2007-03-23T01:21:00.000-07:00

(In a courtroom filled with expectant faces, and bodies to go along with them, one face and its respective body is more conspicuous owing to the notoriety of the personage and the fact that he’s dressed in an orange suit and purple pants. It is none other than Saddam Hussein. The entire courtroom is forced to a stunned silence in anticipation of the verdict regarding Saddam’s case. In a few moments the judge pronounces his verdict—Saddam is sentenced to be hanged to death. An explosion of murmurs showing both dissent and assent to the decision occurs following the verdict. The centre of attention, Saddam Hussein, gets up from his chair and sputters in anger emanating guttural noises)

Saddam (moving his fists about in the air): Aarrkham farhaaa skuraaaam Abrahaam muhh qatarrr jihaaa

Judge: I’m sorry, Mr. Hussein, the majority present in this courtroom cannot comprehend this rare dialect of Arabic that you’re speaking. Would you please mind translating your feelings into a language more understandable?

Saddam (annoyed even further): That wasn’t Arabic; that was just an extended display of the extreme disgruntlement I’m feeling with the deeply idiotic verdict you just passed.

Judge (sneering): Would you like to add anything more to that?

Saddam (half-gritting his teeth): Yeah, your mom’s a five-dirhams-an hour slut!

Judge (with a hurt expression on his face): Hey, that is totally out of line. I just sentenced you to death, alright? You don’t have to diss my mom for that; just lay off her.

Saddam (wicked grin forming on his lips): I bet you say that to every guy with more than five dirhams in his pockets.

Judge (irate): That is it. I’m holding you in contempt for that.

Saddam (his anger now being expressed exclusively in sarcasm): I’d rather have your mom hold me if you don’t mind.

Judge (his face going red): I’m slapping you with a fine of one thousand dirhams.

Saddam: At least you’re not cheap like your old woman.

Judge (rising angrily): Guards, take this wretched purple pant wearing creature away and lock his clown-ass up.

(Two guards approach Saddam and begin to escort him out of the courtroom)

Saddam (finally his true emotions taking over): You can’t do this to me. Do you know who I am? You cannot stop me. You tell your shithead puppet master Bush that I’ll get him for all this; you tell him to sleep with his eyes open; you tell him that he’s got his coming sooner or later; you tell him that death can’t stop Saddam; you tell him that Saddam Hussein is going to come back from the dead and kick his pale pretzel-eating bigoted dyslexic ass all the way to hell.

Judge (busily scribbling on a piece of paper): Slow down, slow down…tell him he can’t stop you, tell him you’ll get him for this…what was the third one again...sleep with his pants off? (stops writing and looks at Saddam for confirmation)

Saddam (flustered): Aarrkham farhaaa skuraaaam Abrahaam muhh qatarrr jihaaa

Judge (puts the pen and paper down): Umm…yeah…you’re going to have to tell that to him yourself. I’m not very proficient in freakin’ gibberish. You know, Mr. Hussein, you’re the worst at dictating stuff. Who in their right senses labeled you as one of the most powerful dictators in the whole world? You stink!

Saddam (stuttering with rage): Well, your momma is…she is…

Judge (with a bored look): Oh, stop it with the mom-bashing already. Firstly, it’s beginning to be a drag. And secondly, I don’t know if you know this but you’re not BLACK!!! So why don’t you make an effort to spend this last short phase of your life engaging in pure and pristine thoughts? Does that sound like a good idea?

(Saddam has almost entirely been escorted out of the courtroom. However, before he steps outside he pops his head back in and whistles at the judge to get his attention)

Saddam (angrily): Fuck you, fuck your momma, and fuck George Bush. How’s that for pure and pristine thoughts?

Judge (measuring up Saddam for a few moments): That’s about as bad a start as you could ever hope for. (To the guards) Now take this ignominious criminal away from here and lock him up.

Finally it has arrived...

2007-02-17T11:10:00.000-08:00

Sexy ladies, messed up gentlemen, corruptible children of all ages, the wait is finally over!

The book that will leave you panting for your breath (provided you read it during coitus) is finally here! As of now the majority of bookstores are unwilling to have it on display owing to the title and the content of the book! The book is currently available for direct purchase by contacting the publisher at this address: mailto:get.aniche@gmail.com at the "that's-a-fucking-steal" price of Rs. 70. (NO shipping charges). After contacting the publisher and interacting with him you can make your final decision. The book shall be sent via post to the buyer's address.

The writer requests all buyers and blog visitors to spread the word amongst your friends and relatives (especially the ones whom you hate). Hurry up and get your copy right now. The writer wishes all the readers an enjoyable (yeah right!) reading experience!! Now get out of here and start buying!

Post all your queries and befuddled thoughts regarding the book as comments on the blog and the writer shall get back to you faster than you climax!

The Final Cover of the Book!

2007-02-15T07:53:00.000-08:00

This is the finalized version of the cover image of the book. The main title font has been altered slightly and the content on the book's back cover has been modified a little to give better insight into what one can expect inside the book!

Exclusive Information regarding the content of the Book!!

2007-02-08T13:36:00.000-08:00

The Book “Saddam’s Hangover + 3 other equally insane skits” broaches some of last year’s most controversial issues and treats them with the sensitivity of a pit bull.

The volatile issue of the British Muslim Women’s right to wear veils; the introduction of the contentious new Domestic Violence Act; and, of course, the most controversial global incident to happen in years; the execution of a universally known figure that half the world calls notorious and the other half calls victim. Added to these three explosive pieces is a ludicrous retelling of William Shakespeare’s most talked about play Hamlet.

P.S- The language is extremely graphic so if any kid manages to get his hands on the book he better lie to his parents about it.

Remember kids, lying is good and, not to mention, very useful at most times.

A Look at the Contents Page of the Book!!

2007-02-07T03:07:00.000-08:00

This is the Contents page of the Book where you get to see the titles of the "3 other equally insane skits"!!!

The book runs upto almost one hundred pages making it a wonderfully light read!!

A SNEAK PEEK AT THE COVER OF THE BOOK!!!

2007-02-07T02:39:00.000-08:00

This is the cover page of the book before it underwent the final changes!!

The final version of the cover page with more exclusive sneak peeks into the content of the book will be put up soon!!

2007-02-04T05:52:00.000-08:00

COMING SOON...!!!
IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS...!!!
THE MUST HAVE BOOK OF 2007...!!!